Comments on: 'Accident' or 'Vulva'? The battle for your Ballardian dollar http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:27:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Henry Swanson http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1359 Henry Swanson Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:38:33 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1359 I adore the smell of geosynchronous low-orbital hypercapitali$m in the morning. It's the exact same zero-degree cool, massively abstracted, terminally vacated neurobleach smell of my transsexual cyborg lover's psychedelic snatch. Nah, the previous post was more of a lame-ass Willy Gibson* cyberplunk leg-pull than any HHOS attempt to imitate the mighty Ballard. Nobody writes like he does - nobody. Perhaps we have to take seriously the (diffused ambient) notion that Ballard's writing really does accesses and stimulate previously un-tapped regions of the brain.. A new organ, better fitted to understanding the monolythic psychological blandscapes of, eg. The Atrocity Exhibition (which is itself a cryptic blueprint for the construction of a unique time travel device..) Man, I just can't believe the crazy old duffer's dying. We have to do more deep theoretical R&D into Ballard - as fresh, varied, radical, and disturbingly alive as the source itself. Henry === * Trivia (10 points): Did you know the phrase "Common as unreliable wiring" is an anagram of "William Gibson Neuromancer"? I adore the smell of geosynchronous low-orbital hypercapitali$m in the morning. It’s the exact same zero-degree cool, massively abstracted, terminally vacated neurobleach smell of my transsexual cyborg lover’s psychedelic snatch.

Nah, the previous post was more of a lame-ass Willy Gibson* cyberplunk leg-pull than any HHOS attempt to imitate the mighty Ballard. Nobody writes like he does – nobody.

Perhaps we have to take seriously the (diffused ambient) notion that Ballard’s writing really does accesses and stimulate previously un-tapped regions of the brain..

A new organ, better fitted to understanding the monolythic psychological blandscapes of, eg. The Atrocity Exhibition (which is itself a cryptic blueprint for the construction of a unique time travel device..)

Man, I just can’t believe the crazy old duffer’s dying. We have to do more deep theoretical R&D into Ballard – as fresh, varied, radical, and disturbingly alive as the source itself.

Henry
===

* Trivia (10 points): Did you know the phrase “Common as unreliable wiring” is an anagram of “William Gibson Neuromancer”?

]]> By: Simon Sellars http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1358 Simon Sellars Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:48:01 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1358 bravo, champ! now where were you when we were running our ballard pastiche context? http://www.ballardian.com/competition-winner-starsky-hutch-by-jg-ballard bravo, champ! now where were you when we were running our ballard pastiche context?

http://www.ballardian.com/competition-winner-starsky-hutch-by-jg-ballard

]]> By: Henry Swanson http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1357 Henry Swanson Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:32:44 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1357 In a sudden small fit of acute moral distaste, Ballard switched off the blue scan-lined holomonitor and slumped back in the dark Italian leather chair he'd stolen from the dead psychiatrist. He spoke in the general direction of the auto-dictation machine, a featureless cube of gray smart metal currently floating two feet away from his jaguar lean, perfectly manicured skull. "Let's face it, you'd have to be a right class-A c**t to buy into ripe donkey bollocks like that." With it's tepid ambient music piped in from hidden speakers, the layout of the empty mid-morning office on the 700th floor somehow mirrored the smooth interior design of Ballard's freshly emergent hypercapitalist psychopathology. Idly flicking a switch on the arm of the chair, the holoscreen rezzed back into life. "Mind you - that bird has knockers firmer than a fresh set of hot malted baps from a Shepperton bakery. How deliciously insidious." In a sudden small fit of acute moral distaste, Ballard switched off the blue scan-lined holomonitor and slumped back in the dark Italian leather chair he’d stolen from the dead psychiatrist. He spoke in the general direction of the auto-dictation machine, a featureless cube of gray smart metal currently floating two feet away from his jaguar lean, perfectly manicured skull. “Let’s face it, you’d have to be a right class-A c**t to buy into ripe donkey bollocks like that.”

With it’s tepid ambient music piped in from hidden speakers, the layout of the empty mid-morning office on the 700th floor somehow mirrored the smooth interior design of Ballard’s freshly emergent hypercapitalist psychopathology.

Idly flicking a switch on the arm of the chair, the holoscreen rezzed back into life. “Mind you – that bird has knockers firmer than a fresh set of hot malted baps from a Shepperton bakery. How deliciously insidious.”

]]> By: John Coulthart http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1356 John Coulthart Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:06:58 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1356 VULVA may be a joke but the recent ads for a fragrance from clothing designer Tom Ford are quite real: http://www.jossip.com/tom-fords-price-tags-arent-the-only-thing-thatll-keep-you-out-of-his-store-20070911/ VULVA may be a joke but the recent ads for a fragrance from clothing designer Tom Ford are quite real:

http://www.jossip.com/tom-fords-price-tags-arent-the-only-thing-thatll-keep-you-out-of-his-store-20070911/

]]> By: Simon Sellars http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1352 Simon Sellars Fri, 11 Jan 2008 22:36:52 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1352 Hmmmm....you might be onto something, there... Hmmmm….you might be onto something, there…

]]> By: TimC http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1353 TimC Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:32:17 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1353 My first instinct was that it was a joke, but note that it's a German site. While the German sense of humour can be under-estimated, so too can the sexual peculiarness of the nation. The site owner, one 'Oeztuerk Yusuf', is in Cologne - maybe Dan could go round for a chat? Even if it is a joke, it's surely only a matter of time before someone markets this for real... My first instinct was that it was a joke, but note that it’s a German site. While the German sense of humour can be under-estimated, so too can the sexual peculiarness of the nation.
The site owner, one ‘Oeztuerk Yusuf’, is in Cologne – maybe Dan could go round for a chat?

Even if it is a joke, it’s surely only a matter of time before someone markets this for real…

]]> By: Simon Sellars http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1355 Simon Sellars Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:13:38 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1355 VULVA is a joke, man -- it absolutely has to be! Oh, come on... VULVA is a joke, man — it absolutely has to be! Oh, come on…

]]> By: TimC http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar/comment-page-1#comment-1354 TimC Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:54:57 +0000 http://www.ballardian.com/accident-or-vulva-the-battle-for-your-ballardian-dollar#comment-1354 I suspect anyone wanting to buy Vulva doesn't have a special someone in their life - it seems to be marketed, in a coy way, purely as a wanking aid. I suspect anyone wanting to buy Vulva doesn’t have a special someone in their life – it seems to be marketed, in a coy way, purely as a wanking aid.

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