+ THORACIC DROP: < Deposit > news appropriate to this site.

+ AUTOGEDDON: Subscribe to Ballardian & receive automatic email updates

Chariot of Fire: Preliminary Analysis & Damage Reconstruction of the Death of Diana, Princess of Wales

Author: • Oct 7th, 2005 •

Category: Ballardosphere, celebrity culture, features, pastiche, sexual politics, speed & violence, sport, suicide, surrealism

by Annik Hovac

Ballardian: The Death of Diana, Princess of Wales
“About midnight, Diana walks out, all green eyes and friendly breast velocity. Dodi, her Prince, is there to sweep her away from the insatiable paparazzi.”

The following extract is presented by the JG BALLARD INSTITUTE for the Study of Eroto-Responsive Kinetics, Canberra.

“On August 31, 1997, Princess Diana and her lover Dodi Fayed died in a horrific car crash. At the exact moment of impact, the conspiracy nuts sprang into action. Was she murdered by the British government – or overseas interests? Did she in fact commit suicide? Indeed, the public seems unwilling to accept the official version of events, culminating in the claims this year that Prince Charles was somehow behind a sinister plot to murder his ex-wife.

For the last 5 years, the JG Ballard Institute for the Study of Eroto-Responsive Kinetics has been studying this most Ballardian of celebrity deaths and is finally in a position to make its findings official. Under the guidance of the Institute’s Dr Annick Hovac, the following report – a worldwide exclusive – is sure to blow all previous theories surrounding the incident out of the water.

Now, finally, the truth can be told…”

An extract from a forthcoming paper by Dr Annik Hovak, of the JG Ballard Institute for the Study of Eroto-Responsive Kinetics.

Dinner at the Ritz seemed the perfect dreamy Paris interlude. Diana, Princess of Wales, and Dodi Fayed, heir to the House of Harrods, spent their last day enjoying each other’s company. During their summer romance, the couple had exchanged phase acts in order to increase the structure of the relentless public eye. She was snapped on the deck swathed in a towel while Fayed smoothed her hair, in full view of the tourists on shore. But after nearly three weeks, the equivalent velocity of the relationship endured a string of disappointing love, and the media reported that the couple had interpretation errors.

Over fatal seafood dinner, Fayed presented a stunning $205,400 diamond solitaire glistening like warm oil sun on a distant beach. Known as the Playboy from the Maximum Deformation, it was noted that in his business and social life, Fayed only addressed women to the point of five Ferraris. The boy grew up in a world of privilege in Egypt and France. Later, he worked briefly as a fixture on beautiful London women. However, it had appeared that from Reference 26 the negligible fairy-tale marriage fell apart amid others (e.g. tests 415, 425 and 448) and that Diana was mentally unstable. The data for the dynamic model, combined with the proposed abandonment of A, B and G variables, prompted speculation that the Princess forced (note that no mention of Charles) the erratic nature of the plots.

Flashback to a week before (time is a voyeuristic membrane in the tragic life of the beloved): Dodi wrote a poem for her and had it inscribed on public flesh. He had walked off the plane, and saw her waiting in central London, a grieving human in her arms. Calculations of Delta-V ranged from her skirt too short to be examined.

FORCE VS DISPLACEMENT THEMES! rhapsodised the airport daily headlines.

That afternoon, on the Mediterranean beach, Fayed had presented his oil-covered fingers, circular motion glistening in the warm sunlight. Princess Di dropped one hand to his pants, soft on his deep and passionate Mediterranean journey. Later, in the hot tub with him giggling, sailing up and down the French and Italian Rivieras of the mind. (Or at least so claim the doubles who never leave Diana’s side).

Nothing life threatening. Further tests (18, 334 and 426) show Diana and Dodi in a close embrace, corroborating the ghostly reports of imminent prayers and national blame.

When the doors close, the two people in love push the stop button. The elevator doors open and everyone is the result of dynamic collisions, of residual control. She is aware of what is going on, the waiting photographers. However, from the news media, linear relationships are gifts. They had decided to use Fayed’s driver as a decoy in another car. About midnight, Diana walks out, all green eyes and friendly breast velocity. Dodi, her Prince, is there to sweep her away from the insatiable paparazzi. The appointed personnel are also there: the lucky (and belted) bodyguard and the drunk Frenchman. Every one is ghostly, their flesh glistening under the video gaze and the white grip of death. The eyes of the cameras zoom in and out chronicling grainy stills, gray glare and flash of blonde.

They climb in a Mercedes S280 soon owned by speed across accurate westbound lanes of a four-lane coefficient. Candles and chilled champagne wait in Fayed’s apartment near the Arc de Triomphe.They make their getaway through a linear fit, drunk through central Paris at fatal conceptual speeds. The couple’s blue Mercedes signals a speed-change river to escape the paparazzi- who insisted in referring to it as the period of deforce. With romantic track animation and angle view from ominous advise, the duration of central Paris at an average of 90’/sec narrows to a limited number of staged collisions (e.g., References 34, 50-52).Then, in the bridge, not far from the Eiffel tower, Diana gives him a pair of pictures of the wide contact collision with her son Prince Harry. This is one of many simulations, rehearsals. Dodi laughs. In her clear headlight gaze glow Egyptian joy and the midnight algorithm of her white slacks and heeled sandals. Twin stars of whirlwind love that will never see the tunnel’s end.

Ballardian: The Death of Diana, Princess of Wales
“At the time of the crash the couple hugged at 60 mph (90 ft/sec), divorced from the average deceleration and contemplating a new peak value of about twice the psychic medium.”

Hollywood Psychologist calls self-examination of Tabloid Voyeurism
Diana reaches in. Dodi outlines the main anatomical regions. They explore each other’s tongues. The Romeo and Juliet of the Twentieth Century reciprocate coefficients in the back seat of the hellbound S-280. The lovebirds’ every move lingers in the spirit of the underground road tunnel. But the Mercedes is now the object of a chase. Pursued by five or so photographers, running into the obstruction crumpled and out of control. From the unidentified sideways, the impact will occur close to where the couple has missed an angle of a few degrees still being pried from the eyewitness reports screeching for the British newspapers before impact. Even if Paul floors the brakes, rages and then backs his car where little steering left, he only has half the vehicle’s width at the limits of traction to position on the road somewhat.Left side damage, the car spinning around.

Shocking, the vehicle can’t be spinning! The car hits a pillar of related data points. At the time of the crash the couple hugged at 60 mph (90 ft/sec), divorced from the average deceleration and contemplating a new peak value of about twice the psychic medium. Paul can’t induce much of a steer centerline even if it’s grilled at original formulation of the crash. Besides, he does not steer to avoid the problematic recognition, since it is obvious that he should still not exist simultaneously over a few demurely plastic concussions to avoid the impact. The vehicle does not roll over, probably cut from the roof by avoidability. The windshield and the roof collapse. The grill of the Mercedes is pushed back into the front seat. The Princess of Wales reaches in to feel the peak of dynamic crush caressing it, sunning herself in the initial impact to the point of maximum time. Acceleration that would have been experienced by the chest is about 70 times the force of gravity (70 g’s), or about seven times what a fighter pilot experiences. The head experiences acceleration about 100 times the force of gravity.

Diana is happier than she had been in a dynamic state. She is delighted as the automobile structures dissolve in acrimony, as the vehicle undergoes godmother impulse for the last several inches of static crush, coupled with photographers in motorcycles and buzzing police. Her hardened nipples glisten as she accepts the paparazzi into her. Speed is anywhere. Dodi Fayed gently takes the maximum collision force and her suit straps, ignoring the restitution phase, the residual crush, the amount of severity. Princess of Wales dies 4 a.m. Paris time. Maybe she is asleep, or mortally injured in the land of public tragedy. There is smoke. People are standing around the car. The Delta-V intercept at zero with photographers crowding within bloodied victims to snap their positions at a forked distance.

This can hardly be the couple that had eaten dinner. The body of a woman sticks out 60’/sec turns to the awful lapse under 0.1 sec. Her head wanly linear, her favorite chest acceleration. During this period, additional cardiac arrest and more damage to the left side.

Crews arrived and worked for more than itself. Emergency residua would need an hour to free Diana from the smashed resistance force. The occupants are freed from their bodies. The bodyguard has survived, but Fayed and Paul die instantly, the latter expiring in continuity with some prior consciousness, a stream of cognition going back to tonight’s top speed.

Ballardian: Death of Pincess Diana
Last dialogue between Dodi and Diana:
Dodi: “We have the pattern, not the substance; but in your eyes I pour us each a living being.”
Diana: “True. We can’t live forever.”

Flustered bystander: “We heard the noise of the accident, intended to be humorous. In the tunnel, it was a real massacre. In a state of shock, I pushed on the biological problems of aging. I did not offer assistance. And then I left.”

Another witness says he saw smoke, ran to the wreck. “I was taking pictures of it.” Then he said he turned to the woman: “I freed her breathing and opened her irregular mass. By way of explaining the physical, she was moaning and gesticulating. I put an oxygen mask on her.”

He wanted to testify, because notions of reality are ridiculous when those are signs of choking faster than about 30 degrees.Was she belted? Diana herself later squelched rumors. Thus, trauma is generated, the most erotic strip ever.

Last dialogue between Dodi and Diana:
Dodi: “We have the pattern, not the substance; but in your eyes I pour us each a living being.”
Diana: “True. We can’t live forever.”
Dodi: “Whenever there is a cognition, I must lean across and kiss your lips with the passion I feel for beginningless time.”
Diana: “Oh, my Prince! It is just the fatal state of knowledge about the biomechanical circumstances under which we live.”

The opulent ring, still in its box, is recovered from the floor of the crushed windstorm romance. Hundred photos are no longer distant and grainy.

25. Early reports described Diana’s original algorithm, the neglected mirror of the accident scene. While her arm and leg injuries were demonstrated in Reference 26, Princess Diana’s unidentified posture was formulated later, as the pale phase and hardened
forces increased in the total speed change.
26. The impact coefficient for a number of Diana’s measurements and damage determines the amount of additional Fayed after going into severity by prolonging the accelerating conference of residual damage.
27. The rate, both in terms of force and of the injuries received, is restored from the peak structure. But the magnitude of the news report, including the proposed damage time, was overestimated. The angle view from front passenger window shows that both head and chest experienced acceleration a hundred times the force of gravity.
28. The significance of the fitted coefficients still does not void linearity between her Delta-V and Fayed.
29. Any reconstruction which utilises a CRASH3 based damage analysis procedure should add to the predicted speed change a variable of approximately +10% at 30 inches of residual crush to +25% at 10 inches for the predicted total speed change.
30. What’s more, a careful inspection of the site implies a linear relationship between conceptual complication and the smashed windshield.
31. Despite media reports that Dodi and Diana did not hit head on, the crash technique rarely, if ever, has been known to produce uniform crush, or centralised collisions that might have otherwise been lived. At the time of the crash formulation, the restitution effects of the vehicle structures intercepted pulmonary trajectory with the judicious engineering approach to offer the curve damage profile. Thus, injuries in an accident are always assumed to be unnamed.

1. Reports of ninety-degree skid marks: ABS systems tend not to leave pronounced skid marks, these are probably scrub marks. Even if they represent locked wheel skid marks they only bring a 75/mph speed down to 55 at impact.
2. Pacemakers or electronic stimulators have been used after abdominal surgery when the intestine and bladder are paralysed.
3. Reports of the driver’s impairment clear up a lot of things.

Find all posts by

Older: «

3 Responses »

  1. Very impressive piece of writing regardless of the Ballardian. Strong concept, right subject. A smash.

  2. I just read the book “Princess Diana – Her True Story”. It’s a great book. I kinda feel like I know her a little bit now. I would have loved to have met her- she was a good person.

  3. Where is the white Fiat Uno and the brilliant flash witnessed coming from a device held by one of the scooter drivers. A missed, essential detail. Still, a fun read nonetheless.

Leave a Reply